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Feb 25 2014

Prayer from a Human

Prayer from a Human,

 

Sometimes in life, life gets hard. Sometimes when it gets hard, it gets harder right after.

It can test every part of you, the good parts and the parts you’re not so proud of.

 

I pray everyday.  The words are not fancy ones.  I do not recite from ancient manuscript. I couldn’t quote the bible unless I had it in my hand; Although, I really dig The Lords Prayer.  That one I know.

I pray like I think a lot of us do.  It’s just one long conversation.  

When trouble comes, I might even write it.   This can go on for months.

And so it goes…….

 

Dear God,
I really need your help. Please hurry as it is imperative that you respond to my request immediately. 
This is an emergency.
Thanks,   Me

Dear God,
Maybe you didn’t get my first message and things have gotten worse.  Please hurry. I am terrified. Oh my gosh!  Please, please help! You are the only one who can fix this. I need you to reverse what is happening. I’ll be waiting.
Love me

Dear God,
Ummm, hello?  Are you even there? Why are you not answering? I know you must be busy but geez!
Me.

Dear God,
GOD!!! Answer me!!!
Now I’m getting angry.
Me again.

Dear God,
Ok, seriously?
What is going on? Things were fine between us for the last 20 years.  I haven’t asked you for anything in like…forever.  I checked the bible to make sure I got this right and You’re the one who said and I quote, “ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be open.”
I’ve asked and I’ve knocked for months and still no answer.
I’m just trying to understand you.
In the meantime, I’m facing a disaster over here. Can you at least drop me a few ideas that I can try.
Still Me

Dear God,
Ok fine.  I’ll do it myself then.
Not even going to sign this

Dear God,
So….. I was wondering if you were still there.  I tried everything I could. It did not work. I told you that I needed you. I don’t think things will be ok without you.
I still haven’t heard from you.  Was it something I said or something I did? I’ve wracked my brain trying to figure out why you won’t answer.  I’m tired now. I think I’ll just go to bed.
I won’t give up on you if you don’t give up on me.
Love me

Dear God,
It’s hard down here right now. My heart is breaking.  I’m not going to ask you for anything. I just wanted to let you know how I feel. Well….that was dumb seeing as you probably already know. 
I suppose you might be trying to teach me patience. 
Well….that sucks!
Or maybe you want me to know there are some things that are out of my control. Or maybe I should just give up control.   Ooooh,that’s going to be a tough one.
I don’t like this one bit but I’ll try.
Just me

Dear God,
I could have sworn I felt you around the other day and then again the other night before I dropped off to sleep. 
I’m not certain if it was you or wishful thinking.  Even though I’m kind of mad at you right now, it was nice to think for a moment that it was you.
Just me being all skeptical

 

Dear God,

I don’t know why I am still writing while I have my doubts.

The question is, how do you have faith when you have no physical evidence to support your existence?

But then again, isn’t that what faith is?

Puzzled, perplexed and still kind of mad

 

Dear God,

I’ve thought about it and again I’m choosing to believe.  It just feels more right.

Still waiting on that thing I’m worried about. It’s anguish.

Hello…. Are you there?

I can’t feel you around.

One step forward and four steps back me

 

Dear God,
I decided to trust that you are there.  By the way, nice job on the sunshine the other day.
I still don’t get what you are doing but I trust that you’re working on things.
Just me- workin’ on my trust issues

Dear God,
You are hilarious- just when I thanked you for the sunshine, your drop another 2 feet of snow on us. In addition, the whole breaking down my car thing was fantastic…..or not!
I’m also wondering where you are going on my emergency issue, which clearly you don’t see as much of an emergency as I do.
It’s easy for you. You can see the whole picture and the outcome. I’ve got limited vision. I can’t see where this is going.
All I’ve got is some inspirational quotes floating on a scenic background wallpaper to get me through the day.
If I see The Serenity Prayer one more time, I think I’m going to scream.
I suppose it probably doesn’t matter, what has happened has happened.
Just me, trying to accept things.

Dear God,
I made my list of everything I tried.  I’m at peace with it.
I guess I realize, there are some things that I can’t do anything about. I can’t change some circumstances and I can’t change people’s minds.  That makes me sad a little and I suppose I will grieve it for a bit.
By the way, good call on the crying mechanism you gave us.  Does that ever feel good to release like that- if you can get past all of the snorting and nose wiping and blotchy skin and shallow breath thing. 
I’ve been damp for days. 
I’m going to hand over that thing to you, lay it at your feet if you will. I trust you will know what to do with it and I will accept whatever is to be.
In the end, I feel better talking to you than not talking to you. 
Drippy nosed me.

Dear God,
So…..I was wondering how far you’ve gotten with that thing I left at your feet.
Whoops, sorry…doing it again.
Just me, working on my control issues.

Dear God,
I’m surprised I’m still standing. I gotta say, you made me pretty strong. Thanks!
Oh and again, thanks for the beautiful sunshine today and the chattering birds this morning. What a great way to wake up.
From what I can see, the situation hasn’t changed much since my first note but I have to say thanks for the angel friends you sent to me in the worst of it.  Thanks for the music you played on the radio at just the right time and that book you helped me to find. Thanks for my dog that would not leave my side. Thanks for my brother and his wife and my cousin and for the gals at work who didn’t judge me when I sobbed at the photocopier and in the lunchroom….and that one time at my desk. Thanks for my curly haired pal who never said a word as I purged. She told me it was ok to cry and cried with me in support. Thanks for my husband and children who let me rest on their shoulder and let me let them rest against mine. Thanks for the flu- I needed the break. Thanks for the beautiful sunset the other night when the sky was streaked with pink and orange and purple and blue. I almost forgot about the beauty in the world.
Thank you for every grey hair on my head and every wrinkle around my eyes. I’m starting to look interesting.
Thank you for the small blades of grass now poking through the snow. It promises spring.
Sorry I doubted you; you’ve been here all along.
Love me.

 

P.S.  Thanks for “The Serenity Prayer” I guess it’s not that bad.

P.P.P.S   I’ll talk to you soon.   Have a good day!

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1 comment

  1. Tim Stewart

    Glad to see you posting again. Looks like our prayer books have some common chapters. Love you sis!

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