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Aug 17 2012

Now where was I?

Now where was I?

Both of my children’s crises were averted due to some quick thinking, a little shuffling, and a song and dance with a head stand finale. My son, having watched my husband and I pull out our bag of tricks on more than one occasion, found his own bag and managed quite well. Three years out and I see the fruits of our labour.  I say to my son, “You have done well, grasshoppa.”

After five days, my daughter ate her first real meal of rice and chicken and veggies. She walked to a store in the Inuit community and bought enough food to get her through the next few days.  She had been invited to eat out at two other teachers’ homes prior. They were low on food as well, waiting for their own food shipments to fly in.  They still shared what they had.  Her new friends are more than stellar. They really support one another and go out of their way to help each other.  They are a close-knit group.

Up to this point she had rationed her bananas and sugar crisp cereal.

She described her first solid meal as “heaven.” The vitamins and minerals kicked in and her voice sounded stronger.  She has energized and regrouped. It was good to hear her sounding so well.

She talked about her first day of teaching and the students she met.  She talked about the one student who called it a day and left school at morning recess. He just dipped!  He didn’t come back.  She talked about the challenges and her plans for the weekend.  She is making plans for the weekend that do not involve taking the next flight out. She is settling in; this is good news.

My husband and I slept solid last night.

The last few months I have been all over the place.

I woke up this morning with a plan to get on track again. It was time to return to my path.

Yet I couldn’t remember what that path was.

I decided to blog but I couldn’t remember what I had started to blog for.

So I looked in my archives to retrace my steps.

Then it became clear that I didn’t have a plan then either. My only plan was to start writing while I waited for the path to emerge.

I was at a crossroads then and still am. I am leaving things behind and walking on into something new.  I know I’ve left some things behind because I feel lighter.  I am not looking back because those things needed to fall away. If they weren’t supposed to, they wouldn’t have.

I am still in the same house although my hallway and bathroom are freshly painted.  I am still on the same street, in the same city but this morning things feel cleaner and brighter outside.

Maybe it was all the rain.

I sense that autumn is on its way.  The air is cooler this morning and I noticed last night that it was getting darker out earlier. The tips of the leaves on my tree in the front yard are turning. I can see hints of red.  I wonder if it will be an early Fall. My mums are in full bloom.

 I am grateful that this season is coming. I’ve never been much of a summer girl. I prefer the chill and cozy blankets and eating warm stew for dinner.  I love the crunch of the leaves under my feet as I take my dog for a walk in the early evening.  I love the quiet of the streets at night; sometimes the only sound you can hear is the clanging sound of the flagpole as the wind whips the anchors to the flag against the pole.  I always stand under it for a moment just to listen.

I like the way the branches crackle and scrape against the roof of a house and I like it when it rains late in the fall.  At some point, if the weather is cold enough, it turns to the first flakes of snow. I like when they stick to my jacket and my hair and my eyelashes.

I love the changing of the seasons!

The autumn and early winter is when I feel the most alive. It seems to be the time when I grow the most.  It seems to be the time when I feel the most comfortable in my skin. It always seems to be an official starting point. It’s strange. The colder it gets outside, the warmer I feel on the inside.

I sense that something is coming. I can feel it in the air.  I feel like I can breathe again.

I have no idea where I am going. I have no clue as to what is on its way. I have no idea which way to go next. It feels good to be back on the road though. I guess I’ll just mosey along.

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