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Jun 19 2012

You could be a pilot or a doctor or a mechanic or a lawyer…..Everything is possible!

I never say I can’t, I just naturally assume that I can. If it doesn’t seem likely, I am always aware that it is still entirely possible. I never say I can’t unless I’ve tried something and found that I couldn’t. Even then, I am left with the notion that although I couldn’t today, with a little more time and a little more patience and maybe after acquiring some knowledge, that it is still possible. This is my motto. Anything is possible.

Everyday, I make a conscious decision to open myself up to this wonderful world. I actually lay flat on my back with my arms outstretched in a symbolic gesture of my openness to the divine and natural flow to life. I imagine whatever experiences that I am to experience, whatever paths I am supposed to follow and the directions to get there will come to me. I trust that every lesson that I am supposed to learn will reveal itself to me; sometimes over and over again because I was too stubborn to get it the first time.  I trust that this will happen and it does.

I do not exclude myself from any possibility. Tomorrow I could become an airplane pilot if I took up the interest and chose to do so. All I would have to is go to school for it. I could tell myself that it was impossible seeing as I currently do not have enough dollars in my bank account to achieve such an ambition. But if it was truly something I was destined and had dreamed of doing, I would be receiving some urging inside which would probably get me researching some back to school program or financial aid that would allow me to pursue it. In a couple of years I could be saying “This is your captain, fasten your seatbelts…”

I could be travelling across the world this time next year. I could be paying off my mortgage and renovating a cute little cottage by some small little lake in the next few. I could be publishing a book someday or my own line of greeting cards. I could get  a job in a field that I will be twice as interested in as anything I have ever done before. It’s all possible.

I could become anything I wanted to at any moment and at any time. All I would have to do is decide and then go for it.

The problem of late has been I don’t know  what else I want to do. I’ve worked as an artist for years and in the last three have worked as a secretary. I love that job. It might be hard to believe with all of my spelling or grammar errors and my double periods at the end of some of my sentences.  (I’m on serious time constraints here and my family feels neglected when I blog. I’m lucky enough to get an hour to consider and document my thoughts let alone have time for an edit.)

I decided years ago that If I stayed in my comfort zone, I might be missing another world of possibilities that I hadn’t even considered. I took this extra job on and love it.  In the past year, lay offs have affected my work time and I am back to seeing what else is possible in the great big world out there.

Some people wonder why I would look for other work if I was already an artist.  Well, Momma needs a new pair of shoes. Actually, I just need to bring in groceries on a weekly basis. That would be nice.

I’ve only been an artist as long as I have because this same road has continued for me for the last 25 years. I’ve had many obstacles both financially and personally. I’ve considered leaving this career path a billion times, getting sidetracked by something that looks just as inviting on the other side of the fence. I’ve worked a few part-time jobs over the years, but this same artist path always clears away again and I continue on it.

I don’t cling to this artist life though. I used to but it blocked my creativity. I let it go.

I used to think that once I had found my passion and dream that I had to stick to it. I identified my whole being and purpose with it. That was silly. I realized that my purpose was just to be. That’s it. It didn’t matter what my outer occupation was, that was always subject to change. I used to think that it was the only vehicle by which I could express who I was. After writing these lengthy long-winded, run on sentence with too many adjective posts, I realize that I can express myself quite while much to the chagrin of my English Teacher daughter. She says,” get to the point Mom; Say what you’re going to say.”  I say,” but I like the getting to the point part.” It feels like I am painting with words.

 I can envision the composition and I start to lay the first wash down. It flows gently and it pales. Then I add more colour and texture until I can feel and taste and smell the painting. I add the final details until my brush just stops. Sometimes it’s a little overworked. Sometimes if I’ve rushed it, the colours are a little muddy and  the painting is a bit of a flop. Sometimes it flows easier and it practically paints itself. Those are the best ones, the ones I don’t think much about and just let whatever flows out from that divine place; I just let it happen.

It’s just like life. It’s doesn’t matter how you started or what your life looks like to anyone else in the end, it’s the journey and what happened in the middle that counts. There is a saying by author Linda Ellis.” Live your dash”- the dash between your birth date and your death date. There’s a great poem that goes with. I haven’t read the book entitled of the same name but it got my attention. I think it’s perfect.

I wake up every morning with the thought in my head of what path should I take today. I keep myself open to any and all possibilities and opportunities. I know if I am too focused on making my present situation or occupation work, then I might be missing a truer calling .Sometimes you have to empty yourself to make way for something new.

If I feel like I am beating my head against the wall and spend my day in frustration trying to make something happen or work, then it’s probably an indication that it’s either not the time or it was never meant to happen or its purpose is over. The best decisions I have made and the right paths to take have always felt right and easy and natural. So I throw everything out there.

I apply to all sorts of jobs from office and clerical to artistic to customer service orientated. Sometimes I apply to jobs that I have no qualifications for. My children say, “Mom, you’re not qualified, why would you apply.  My answer, “I’m not qualified yet!” They say “Mom, you’ve never done that before, you have no experience. I say, “I could learn”.

 I applied once to the airlines (not as the pilot). My children laughed, “But you’ve never even been on a plane” I say, “exactly! Since I have no reasonable proof that I have failed miserably in this industry then it is entirely possible that I could really enjoy it and do  well at it.  It may be unlikely but it’s always a possibility. How will I ever know my full potential if I limit myself? “

Will I ever find another job that I enjoy as much as I love working as an artist. It’s always possible.

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1 comment

  1. Maureen

    Connie…you were blessed with an amazing gift…the gift of art and creativity. You also have such a gift with words. When you write, “It feels like I am painting with words”…wow…what a wonderful way to put it!

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