Jun 11 2012

Listen to your mother…..Walk with a Purpose!

I decided to start leaving quick access to advice for my kids seeing as another one is leaving the nest to find work because THIS FREAKING CITY IS RIDICULOUS WITH THE LACK OF JOBS….AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!

This way, I figure they can get a hold of me day or night and have a sort of handy dandy guide to situations that may arise.  My hope is that they will print off each one of my wise words and bind the pages into a small pocket guide to whip out should the need arise.

They could easily call me night or day too but it seems like since I turned 40, my ability to respond efficiently to a 3 am phone call and actually form proper responses to their questions has become seriously impaired. This is partly because I am sleeping heavier and it takes me longer to get my bearings and because the mouth guard I wear now to stop me from grinding my teeth due to all the worries of my children leaving home makes it difficult to pronounce most of my consonants and all of my vowels. This makes clear communication difficult.

So here we go kids……Lesson 1

Walk With A Purpose.

When you enter a room or walk down the street, be confident! Stand tall with a straight back and with your eyes looking at what lies ahead. Try not to look behind you; if you do this right, you’ve already seen everything you need to.  Besides if your attention is on what you’ve left behind or what you might have forgotten then you’ll miss what’s in front of you right now. You’ll then have to spend your whole life looking to the past. This will cause you trip up in the present.

I’ve been telling you this since you were little. Don’t go about your life with eyes downcast and slugging your body along.  Hold your head high and move your body like you’re really going places. Do not worry about obstacles in your path. When you walk with confidence, the obstacles will move out of your way. Show the world that you have places to go and people to see. Put a little bounce in your step and sing a happy tune to yourself. I’m telling you, trust me.  You’re going places kid!! Walk like it!

There is one exception……Walking alone at night or in a dark alley

 If you find yourself in this position, then I could just smack you on the head right now. What have I always told you? Never… never… never walk alone late at night or in a dark alley!!!

My advice to you is keeping your eyes looking everywhere when walking alone on a dark street or dark alley.

This can be dizzying but it can be done. Think of it as the same thing that you did while you were taking your driving test. You constantly looked in front of you, to both side mirrors and then in your rear view.  It serves two purposes. Not only are you aware of all your surroundings and the slightest change in your environment, the constant and nervous jerking of your head from side to side and the stumbling about you will do as you regain your balance from turning your head to quickly to view your rear will make you look a little crazy and people generally avoid any sort of crazy.  This will generally take care of the possibility of most encounters.

Now for the real crazies, the people that are so crazy that they don’t mind that you look crazy. They may try to approach you. It is in this instance that everything I taught you about always being polite, you need to throw out the window now. Do not stay in the same path as them. I know you don’t want to look scared or rude, but the truth is your fight or flight response is kicking in. You are getting a gut feeling that danger is lurking. Listen to it. Cross the road. Grab your keys and put each one between your knuckles. Now is not the time to worry about what your mugger or murderer might be feeling if you avoided their company.

Hopefully you’re wearing good athletic shoes because you may have to run…and fast.  If you were silly enough to wear heels, take them off now and walk bare feet. It will give you better leverage and you can use the spikes as a weapon.  So what if you will look stupid. You probably walked home drunk like that in the middle of winter once.  Get over yourself…..your life depends on it.

If you don’t have your phone, cup your hand over your ear and pretend you are talking to the police and loudly give them directions to your present location. I know it’s not real, but your stalker might not. It might give him a moment to pause which is just enough time for you to get the hell out of there.

If all else fails….

Remember when you were young and I taught you all about stranger danger. If you really feel like you’re being followed, you could always try turning around and looking the character in question right in the eye. It’s important that you move your legs slightly apart getting a firm grip under your feet. Raise one arm straight out in front of you and with your palm up just as a traffic cop would do at a busy intersection to get you to stop,  I want you to yell…”STOP RIGHT THERE…STRANGER DANGER…STEP BACK…KEEP AWAY” . Do this in your most abrupt and commmanding tone of voice Hopefully someone close by will hear you and come to your aid. If not, and if your stalker keeps approaching, prepare for fight of your life or run like hell. Yell and scream and curse the entire sprint until someone hears you or your attacker is frightened off. It doesn’t matter if it turns out that this person was just walking home from the grocery store and happened to live in your same neighbourhood. The point is, and it’s my only concern,,,your safety.

It’s worked for me so far.

I don’t want you to worry. I just want you to feel confident and safe in your life. Walk with a purpose!!! Use your head. Follow your gut.

Now get home and don’t ever do this to me again.

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