May 24 2012

A Lesson in Fashion or How I Got My Son To Pull His Pants Up

I try not to judge. Especially when it comes young people and their appearances. I try not to comment on my children’s fashion choices. I was young once, I get it. Sometimes you just want to experiment or express yourself creatively through the clothes or the hairstyles or the makeup you wear or even the tattoos that you choose to adorn your body. I get it. In fact I’d go so far as to say that most young people now dress and wear their hair far more stylish than any one from my generation. They just seem to have a knack for it. 

There is one exception . I just don’t get those baggy pants that many boys wear that hang practically to their knees. I have given this a good deal of serious thought. I’ve seen a lot of kids wearing them that way. It looks  a little uncomfortable and drafty to boot.  

I noticed my son starting to wear his pants that way, the waist slung low around the bottom of his buttocks. “Pull up your pants”, I’d say, “you’re gonna catch a cold!” “Pull up your pants, your underwear are showing and you look sluggish”. My son would just roll his eyes.

I didn’t want to keep nagging about it. I started asking questions. “Why do you wear them so low? Isn’t that uncomfortable?” My son would respond by saying that on the contrary, it really was quite comfortable. I decided to stop judging without having some facts to back it up. 

I took a pair of my son’s pants from the dryer one morning after he had gone to school. I pulled them on and adjusted the waistline across my buttocks like I have seen the kids do. I have to admit, the looseness of them was pretty comfortable although they didn’t do much for my figure. I decided to take them for a test walk so I slid on my new shiny Dr. Scholls running shoes and made my way down the hallway. I was finding it difficult to concentrate on keeping them from falling to the floor as I took each step forward. The kids walking down the street look much more relaxed than I did.

I needed mood music. I went to the computer and put on a song by Notorious B.I.G called “Hypnotize”. I waited a minute or two for the music to inspire my swag and then I took another tour around the house.

It takes a pretty careful maneuver to pull off walking cool with your pants falling down. You have to walk with a bit of a drag in your step and with your legs spread quite far apart. That seems to create enough tension to the waistband area to move forward at least a good ten feet. Every now and again, if you take a bit of a bouncy step and quickly use your elbow to scoop in and up at the waistline, it can pull the pants up just  a smidge so that you can walk another 10 feet.

I made two trips back and forth across the house before finally letting the pants just fall to the floor. I felt as though all the concentration to keep the pants up and moving with my legs splayed apart was dislocating my hip.

I had all of my scientific data behind me and this clearly ruled out any excuse that this fashion choice was one made for comfort.

The following day just before I called my son to dinner, I winked at my husband and then shifted my blue jeans down below my buttocks just as my son was wearing his.  My son didn’t notice at first and so I shifted my tee-shirt up a bit to expose my briefs . I went about the kitchen making final preparations and just chatted about the day. My son finally noticed.

“Mom , what are you doing?”

“What? Nothing! What do you mean?”

“Ma, your pants are falling down!”

“Oh…that….no I did that on purpose. I like the way it looks” “It’s comfortable, just like you said”

“Mom!: You’re underwear are showing”

“Yeah I know”. I like the way it looks. I think I’m just gonna wear my pants like this all the time” I think it looks cool”

I started to head to the porch pretending I was checking for mail.

“Mom, you are not going outside like that”.

“Why not?” I pleaded as I opened the door a crack, hoping no neighbours were outside should I have to push the envelope on this one.

My son was in a panic..

“Because you look RIDICULOUS!”, he spit out.

“Exactly” I said, as I pulled my pants back up.

My son, pulled his up too.



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  1. Anthony

    HAHAHAHAHA…..omg you are awesome! This made my day. I wish this blog came with cartoon illustrations of you walking around the house in baggy pants to Notorious B.I.G.’s Hypnotize. That’s sitcom material!

    1. Constance Stewart Meloche

      Thanks Anthony. I have all kinds of tricks up my sleeve. I like the idea about the cartoon illustrations. I should do that next time.

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